Why is English so hard to learn?
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) I did not object to the object.
9) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
10) They were too close to the door to close it.
11) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
12) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
13) I shed my clothes in the shed.
Let's face it - English is a ridiculous language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; neither apple nor pine in a pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England, nor French fries in France. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that bakers bake, but grocers don't groce? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And finally, when you want to shut down your computer you have to hit "START".
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42 comments:
Ain't it the truth. The more I learn Latin the more I hate English. I mean, come on, it's taken me my whole life to get the grammer down and I still mispell a whole lotta words. I think someone should start a Latin speaking society. Then everything would be easier.
You forgot the last line, "And now as I wind down, I'm winding up this essay." :-)
Well, that's what we get with a language that is spoken by only the poor of its own people while another language dominates for centuries :-)
Maybe you would appreciate English more if you thought of it as a group of people. Like as in individuals. Thank God that we aren't all the same and that the same rules don't apply to all of us. I mean, then it would be like, well, freshmen boys are stupid. But, not ALL of them are. Ya see? There you go. That's mee own to sense. (two cents) Anyways, see ya Friday. You know, it'ss be the frist time I'll have been to Lafayette and you'll be there. Kinda odd ain't it? TTYL
yeah the english language is pretty weird. I laughed pretty hard reading that post. I have heard some of it, but not all of it. Have a lovely week Andrew.
I think I have seen most of that in other places as well, but a good laugh is worth repeating.
woah, you could read that over and over and still get something out of it each time. i agree with charity, we should all speak latin. boy, wouldn't that throw off the rest of the world?
then again, it's kinda nice to have something so ridiculous in your list of accomplishments, and it makes other languages seem easier to learn, i think.
ah well, a very good post.*
(i mean christina)*
would you believe me if i said it was a misprint?
I think Ruth had a pretty good point, there. Or points. :o)
But yes...it is rather confusing at times.
LOL you know what's sad about that? English is so goofy, and Math makes perfect sense, yet I understand English and definately do not understand Math. =P
Uh, Andrew...I think it's time you posted again. Why not something about the organizational meeting last Friday?
man seriously, update about something exciting in your life! Don't you have anything besides English to update about. ;)
You should talk to Allen about what he things of english and english teachers. :) 'Tis kinda funny.
enjoy life (and btw, school is not all there is to life. See there is school, and there is life- TWO diffrent things! :))
~T-Rose
You better update soon. Since I no longer see you every week, you will have to tell me when you decide where you are going to college.
This is so awesome. I'm moving to Indiana within the month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Hello Messieur Andrew, remember me? It has been a while since I have graced your sorry cybernetic journal with my presence. It has also been a while since you posted. You certainly don't have much to say about what little life you have.
-Ah well, Au Revoir, Messieur Blakeney (hint. hint. something to post about)
*giggles* Yeah, Andrew. When are you gonna post again?
three months latter... Hello? anyone here?
maybe he's playing possum
Andrew? Yodel-ley-he-hoo!!...........................*makes worried face*
Hello? You kinda really need to update...
its totally unfair that he gets all these comments with out even posting!
haha, that's actually really amusing...lol
A response! The world is ending! R U gonna post?
Yeah, Andrew. Are you gonna? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
man, just think how many comments your gonna have when you DO post!
now he is just doing it to see what he gets as comments. Lets all boycot commenting on his blog until he posts. Unfortunatelly to communicate this in such a way as to hit everyone who reads this blog I have to comment, but wars must be faught!
-BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA! I'M BACK!!! And I laugh at your petty attempts to boycot this site! You all know that without andrew's blog your insufficient lives would shrivle up and die.
-Messieur Graham, you are comming closer, as is madam Christina. Soon you will all be in my power! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! BEWARE!!! HA HA!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA
*giggles*
*Sigh* all that work to be threatening and what do I get?
LAUGHS!! HAHAHAHAH!
-Of course every one says "Those villins get it so easey they just have to have an evil laugh!" but Nooooo, you get an evil laugh and people laugh at your spelling! We're so persecuted!
Mwahahaha!!! You're welcome!
-People are so sadistic these days.
Oh, and I suppose you're just sssoooo old then!
I said nothing of the kind. I just said that people are sadistic.
Alright, how about a new excuse for not posting?
Whatever to "posting once school is over?"
-Maybe you should stop worrying about how hard English is to learn and start thinking about how to communicate in it i.e. POSTING.
*spoken with sarcasm* I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT US!!!!!
This is crazy. You haven't posted in five months and you're still getting a consatnt flow of comments.
-Anonymous is right, so from now on if I comment on this post I will include an insulting remark directed at Andrew (as if I didn't do that all ready).
-Andrew, your a good for nothing bum.
i posted already!
and hah...good for nothing bum...be glad i'm not...or u'd be out a lot of things...
-Oh, go boil your head, you Idiot Englishman.
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